Maybe this is a post that not everyone will agree with, but I am thanking my lucky stars that my mother-in-law is NOT Pakistani and is NOT a monster. In households back in Pakistan, the son would bring his new wife back home to live with he and his parents. They typically would never have a place at home and would reside in multi-family homes. I think as a result, Pakistani girls would be subject to scrutiny and would often be unable to express their own thoughts. These Pakistani moms are serious MONSTER-IN-LAWS… I would never be able to survive in such a home. Even here in the US, some girls go and live with their husbands parents. I’ve heard some great stories about Pakistani MILs and some awful funs. I’m just glad mine is not Pakistani.
My mom made a comment recently in which she actually agreed that I’m lucky I don’t have a Pakistani mother in law. My MIL is amazing, and I’m so lucky she’s cool and relaxed!!
Typical Pakistani Mother-in-law behaviors:
1) Analyzing and scrutinizing all the clothes and jewelry the bride is given in the “jahez” (which is the gift given to the bride by her parents, includes clothing, jewelry, furniture and luggage…this forum discusses what is ‘appropriate’ for this). My mom says they go through everything with a fine-toothed comb and complain if the bride is given something that is NOT top quality. The jahez can be likened to a dowry but is Islamically not really required, but culturally “necessary”.
2) Analyzing and scrutinizing the NUMBER of outfits your parents give you in the “jahez” (it’s a gift from your parents, yet typically anything less than 7 is considered awful. Some families expect many more!!!)
3) Off-hand comments and demands of the daughter-in-law to behave as they want them to
4) Probably also expecting the daughter-in-law, albeit extremely educated and intelligent, to be a stay at home mother to a million little children
5) Pakistani mothers baby their sons.… I’ve seen boys who don’t know how to do their own laundry or even put food in their own plates. Pakistani mother-in-laws would hate the daughter-in-law who doesn’t treat their son to be the king she taught him to be.
Those are only 5 big reasons I can think of right now. But thank God my mother-in-law is Macedonian and not a freaking psycho!! She is soo sweet it’s unbelievable. 🙂 I am pretty sure Pakistani mother-in-laws everywhere are counting their lucky stars I’m not marrying their sons though…..
And, just as a note, it’s in both Pakistani and Macedonian culture where the boy takes care of his parents once they are old. My in-laws know that I have this in my culture and love it. My grandmother, who had a stroke and can’t speak and can barely walk, lives at my house and my sister, mother & I are her primary caregivers. Nick’s family know that when they are older that they have a place in my home 🙂 So it’s not a disrespect thing whatsoever.
As a note, I think the “baree” and “jahez” post is a topic that is so necessary to discuss!! Coming up for sure.