Tag Archives: wedding etiquette

How to Ask for “No Boxed Gifts”

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One of the most popular posts on this blog is the one where I explain No Boxed Gifts and what this phrase  means.  It was something my non-South Asian guests surely were puzzled with at first, and was awkward to bring up to them.

Now, while many people might have no idea what this phrase means, you’re welcome to see this post here to get a quick explanation on what this phrase means and how to approach it.  To surmise:  it simply means that the couple prefer cash or gift cards over traditional gifts.  They have opted not to register for whatever reason.

There are some great ways to approach this and to spread the word among your guests.

On your wedding website, you can create a brief explanation such as “Having lived on our own so long, we’ve amassed everything we could possibly need for our home.  As such, we kindly request no boxed gifts.”

OR

“As we are planning on moving across the country, we kindly request no boxed gifts.”

I have seen this on both wedding websites and on inserts.  Now if you’re not moving across the country or you haven’t lived on your own… there are other options!

If you do not want to create a wedding website, you can opt instead to place a variation of the following sayings in your wedding card ensemble:

-The Bride and Groom Kindly Request No Boxed Gifts

-We Kindly Request No Boxed Gifts

-While we appreciate your love and prayers above all, we kindly request no boxed gifts.


These are just some ideas you are more than welcome to borrow if you choose to ask for “No Boxed Gifts.”

Now, on the other end of the spectrum I’ve seen it done very distastefully, so I urge all brides and grooms to AVOID these:

-NO BOXED GIFTS (written in all caps as if they are truly trying to make a point!)

-No Boxed Gifts (where’s the please?)

-Cash Only, Please (are you a merchant requesting payment?)

I took a page from my super proper cousin’s book in which she included an insert with her invitation card.  Mine had information regarding our valet parking, wedding website, and at the bottom “The Bride and Groom Kindly Request No Boxed Gifts.”  While adding an insert certainly adds to the cost of a card ensemble, I personally don’t see anything wrong with putting this information at the bottom of your wedding invitation card instead.  Some people balk at the idea of placing any gift information on the card whatsoever (ask the bridal party to spread the word instead, they suggest) so if you truly want to follow wedding etiquette but don’t wish to spend money for an extra insert, perhaps place your wedding website address at the bottom of the card and be sure to include a tab explaining gifts to wedding guests.

How has asking for “No Boxed Gifts” worked for you?  Did any guests make any comments regarding this, or were they happy to oblige?  Have you seen it any worst than what I’ve written here?  Sound off in the comments, I’d love to hear what people thought!

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Wedding Etiquette: E-Thank You Cards vs Paper Thank You Cards

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As I slowly pass my 8-month anniversary mark, I remember a few things: 1) I need to pick my photos for the album and 2) I need to write Thank You Notes!  Etiquette states that you have up to 1 year to write the notes, and though that’s more than fair, I still feel terrible that we haven’t yet ordered cards and started to write them.  Some people have suggested e-Thank You Cards, while I prefer paper.  I decided to weigh the Pros & Cons of both:

E-Thank You Cards:

PROS:

-Saves paper since you are “going green” with your e-card
-Type them, so they are completed more quickly
-Will know immediately if the card is rejected due to inaccurate address
-Saves money (postage rates are rising)

CONS:

-Very Impersonal
-Some older guests may not appreciate it

Paper Thank You Cards:

PROS:

–Can serve as memorabilia by including a wedding day photo
-More personal with hand-written touches
-Guests will likely appreciate the gesture

CONS:

–It will likely end up in the trash (unless you buy these expensive plantable ones)
-Costly postage
-Costly cards
-If a guest has moved, the card may not reach them

So as you can see, there are many pros and cons of both cards, but I can’t seem to decide which one to go with.  I for certain will get the cards taken care of by the end of March!

How soon after your wedding did you and your husband write Thank You cards?  Did you order specialty cards?  How long did it take to write your thank you notes if you wrote them?